well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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