woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
