You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
