yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize