I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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