she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
