Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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