11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
