I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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