Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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