turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
They have beer where we have blood.
Randomize
