Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
