I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
