i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
