apparently the secret to your success is patron
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
