loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
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