I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
