You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
