His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Randomize
