two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
