my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
