I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
