WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Randomize
