Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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