Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
