you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Randomize
