the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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