so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
