The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Life is so much better after having sex.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Randomize
