i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
foreskin is a definite game changer
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
