Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
