the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
