i don't like sucking hair
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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