grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
