Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
