The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
