We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
