All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Randomize
