what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
