You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
