wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
