Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
