She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
