he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
