WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
