I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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