we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
