Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Randomize
