is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
