Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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