Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
