I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
